Empowering myself

I've become empowered, in total and full control of my life, or most of it....there's always the thing that blindsides you when you least expect it. The thing is, I didn't ask, seek or want this new empowerment. I thought I was doing okay. Married 20 years, three beautiful boys (okay, they wouldn't appreciate that description, but they are) I had been published in women's fiction, my life long dream and then wham! life or whatever hit me in the face. I was forced into a lifestyle change by my husband's illness and subsequent death. I had always considered myself an independent, self sufficient person, but suddenly, I was numero uno and many days I didn't know which end was up. Everything fell to me, whether it was figuring out where the money was to come from for the next car payment, or it was juggling activities for the kids. I felt raw, needful, secretive about my sometimes depressing feelings, but hey, I was the one in charge and I took the bull by the horns and charged ahead. I was scared many times, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. However, I slowly, over four plus years, began to discover the person I was meant to be. The person who had always been inside me but perhaps if I hadn't had my exact life experiences, I may have never met this person fully face to face. My life changed, I grew, my quest for knowledge was a deep thirst, and sometimes I didn't even have a clue for what I was searching. Yes, at times I felt clueless about what life seemed to be dishing me up. But now, in hindsight, I understand so much more about what was happening. My dating failures, my trauma when my boys had big and small troubles, the me that some days didn't think I could handle another crisis alone. I handled all of it, I lived through it, I came out on the other side. Slightly singed and a little wobbly, but oh, how much I have learned. I rejoice in the woman I am today. I'll be someone different next month and next year, but right now, I feel whole and almost complete as I move forward to the next phase of my empowerment. What more could we ask for?