Monday, December 31, 2007

Ruminating...why I wrote A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss

I've been asked several times if I decided to write A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss while my husband was ill. Even though I have always been a writer, for as long as I can recall, writing was the last thing on my mind while he was sick. It wasn't until two years after his death that I decided to put my thoughts down on paper, or rather, computer screen.

My original intent was to write down my fears, thoughts, memories and anger and use it as a catharsis or a healing for myself. I wrote 20 or 30 pages and thought I was done. Then I kept adding to it little by little each day, and before I knew it I had about 200 pages. During this time period I'd been having a really hard time (about two and a half years after my husband died from cancer) and loneliness was really kicking me in the butt when I first started it. Then, at one point I kept getting this thought that other women needed to read it. Considering how personal this "journal" was, I resisted this idea of sharing it, at first, probably for about six months. Then I decided to really own up to my experience and just deal with it, put it out there. Since that moment when I decided to really put it out there, I had this certainty that it would end up where it needed to go. I would do my best to put it out there, but ultimately, it would do what it was supposed to do. There was really nothing passive about the thought that it would go where it needed to be, it was just a matter of "knowing." it would stand up to whatever it needed to be.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Online Networking

I had never heard of Facebook before November 2007. Now, as of Dec. 07, I have 240 friends on my facebook account. Why? I read a newsletter article by Ron Pramschufer of selfpublishing.com. He talked about the networking capabilities of facebook, so I decided to give it a try. I went on purely for the reason of networking as a writer and for exposure for my small publishing company. All of my facebook friends are industry related, whether it is TV, publishing, art or writers, I have found wonderful, knowledgeable people in all different fields and even made some new friends. I have discovered new marketing and publicity ideas I might never had known about. So is networking via facebook or any other internet organization important? Absolutely!

My facebook link. You have to be logged in to view it.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=831146796

A day at the museum

Had a wonderful day in Albany, met up with an old writing buddy I haven't seen in a year and we went to the NYS Museum at the Cultural Education Center. It's kind of interesting finding this place in downtown Albany, since it doesn't really have a physical address, just CEC on Madison or Empire State. They actually have their own zipcode for the building. How weird is that?

This is the first time I was in this museum in this location. I do believe some of the exhibits may have come from the old NYS museum when it used to be on Washington Street across from the Albany Capitol Building. I'm talking 30 plus years. Zeesh. But it was really nice, they had a bronze exhibit and I love the mythology statues. Makes me again think about taking a class in sculpting, something I've always wanted to do. I've also looked at taking watercolor class, that would be so much fun, and they're offering it at the local college, four Friday afternoons. So many possibilities, so little time!

Another exhibit was the NYC 9/11 exhibit. Very sad, really chokes you up to see everything bent charred, destroyed. So many stories, so very, very sad.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Empowering myself

I've become empowered, in total and full control of my life, or most of it....there's always the thing that blindsides you when you least expect it. The thing is, I didn't ask, seek or want this new empowerment. I thought I was doing okay. Married 20 years, three beautiful boys (okay, they wouldn't appreciate that description, but they are) I had been published in women's fiction, my life long dream and then wham! life or whatever hit me in the face. I was forced into a lifestyle change by my husband's illness and subsequent death. I had always considered myself an independent, self sufficient person, but suddenly, I was numero uno and many days I didn't know which end was up. Everything fell to me, whether it was figuring out where the money was to come from for the next car payment, or it was juggling activities for the kids. I felt raw, needful, secretive about my sometimes depressing feelings, but hey, I was the one in charge and I took the bull by the horns and charged ahead. I was scared many times, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. However, I slowly, over four plus years, began to discover the person I was meant to be. The person who had always been inside me but perhaps if I hadn't had my exact life experiences, I may have never met this person fully face to face. My life changed, I grew, my quest for knowledge was a deep thirst, and sometimes I didn't even have a clue for what I was searching. Yes, at times I felt clueless about what life seemed to be dishing me up. But now, in hindsight, I understand so much more about what was happening. My dating failures, my trauma when my boys had big and small troubles, the me that some days didn't think I could handle another crisis alone. I handled all of it, I lived through it, I came out on the other side. Slightly singed and a little wobbly, but oh, how much I have learned. I rejoice in the woman I am today. I'll be someone different next month and next year, but right now, I feel whole and almost complete as I move forward to the next phase of my empowerment. What more could we ask for?

Book reviews

I've been working like a dog all week, (I've been cracking the whip on myself) seeking places and people who might be interested in reviewing my book, A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss. Thus far I have six takers, and that's wonderful, since they're all related in their professional lives to grief, loss, bereavement and motivational living. I am so very grateful and hope they enjoy the review copies.

Today, it was gorgeous, how cool is that?

For winter, it was a stupendous day. Sunny, brilliant sun on the bits and pieces of snow still left, in between the mud, that is. The temperature was moderate, a good excuse to get outside and trim down the dead morning glory carcasses on my trellis, and the old vining clematis that I never trimmed down this year. Time got away from me. On the house with all the wind, three pieces of shingle took flight from the ridge vent at the top of the roof. I had called the guy who usually fixes that stuff for me, but with the holidays and family stuff, he wasn't sure when he'd get here. It rained all last night so I was worried about leakage. So I assessed the damage and fixed it myself. I had to make a shingle since one of them disappeared somewhere into the woods. Then I caulked around the nails just for good measure. Since I was up there I decided to also fix the fascia board that had blown off last month or so. That was interesting, considering that's pretty high and my ladder is not that great. I do have a heavier ladder, but it is really too much for me to handle, so I did the next best thing. Drove my truck up next to the house, put the ladder in the truck bed and woolah! presto, worked perfect. Fixed the fascia and the shingles. Now the sun is going down at 3:30, no less! and the day is winding down. Have to think about dinner for the kiddies. I'm having a delish salad with all kinds of goodies in it.Mmmmm

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Third Third of my life

I became a widow at 47. I'd always thought my husband and I would be together forever, or at least a lot longer than 20 years. We have three boys, who at the time were 11, 18 and 19. I ran the gamut of emotions...shock, fear, an utter stillness of nothing, a frenzy of activity, and on and on. Emotions took me on a roller coaster ride of non-delight. One day, not too long after his memorial service, I recall waking up one morning. As I lay in bed, it came to me very clearly, "what do I do with the rest of my life?" I figured I had at least another 40 years. Little did I know it was the beginning of a wonderful, more empowering phase of my life. Four years later, I'm still in the midst of this incredible, uncharted process. I recently wrote a memoir of my last five years, from the date of the diagnosis of my husband's cancer. I know in my heart that even though I wrote it as a catharsis for myself, other women need to read it. Women need to know in the grieving process they're not crazy or different or alone. My dreams have changed and my life has taken unexpected twists and turns, and I wouldn't change any of it. Incredibly, none of it. I am where I am supposed to be. elaine williams

Friends, the holidays, gatherings

It's been a wonderful week, full of family get togethers and friends hanging out, catching up. I had a great time at a friend's house last night, stayed until midnight or so, and it was just great chilling and relaxing and talking. It's one of the wonderful pluses during the holidays, being with family and friends, especially if you're single.

I have a meeting this weekend with another old friend, a former romance writing buddy, and we're going to get together in Albany, go to the museum and have lunch. Women friends are the best!

Meanwhile, back to marketing on the book....

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

book marketing, etc. etc.

My brain is tired and overloaded, but I keep pressing forward. I've got so much information on book marketing. Wonderful writers and resources which I've known about for years, Marilyn Ross, Dan Poynter, John Kremer, and new ones I've met on facebook.com, Shel Horowitz. So much information so little time. I'm swimming in all the wonderful ideas and information overload.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Ready, Set, Go

Ready or not, here come Christmas. I guess I'm ready. I've made enough bread, cookies and fudge to last a few weeks, so at least a few hours in my house. Gave some to good friends and we ate the rest. Mmmm. Presents all wrapped, tree decorated, house cleaned. Kids are all home for Christmas Eve, which is always nice. Tomorrow, after we open our presents, we go up to my parent's house, which will be pandemonium, but in a good way. Grandparents, parents, kids, 20+ and the weather is supposed to be decent. Should be a good day.

Friday, December 21, 2007

My Buying Your First Pony Book

My favorite waterfall deep in the woods


Me and my 4 x 4 hah!

My boys when younger with their ponies


My Internet Dating Guide Book

Painted sawblade



Here is a sawblade I found in our barn and decided to put to use by painting it.

My favorite lake and favorite autumn picture

Success-talk.com radio interview now online

I received my final edited radio interview with Allan Hunkin of success-talk.com and I am very happy with it. I've made it available on my website, there's a clickable link at the top of the page. You can click this post's headline to take you there. It's about 20 minutes long and may take a minute or two to download.

I've been really lazy about doing the christmas tree this year. It is up but not decorated, so that is something I set for myself to take care of tomorrow, along with cookie making, fudge dipping and bread rolling. I have a new fudge recipe I got from a friend and it is so much easier and quicker than the one I've been doing for years. Then my cinnamon swirl bread which is a real favorite, and of course the beautifully sweet, delectable and really cute cut out butter cookies with bright frosting/icing and sprinkles, etc. They are a real favorites and go like crazy, off the plate, that is. I'm looking forward to having everyone home on Christmas Eve, and it's just great to know all the kids are in the house. My oldest is now 23, middle one 21 and youngest 15.

The weather has been holding out pretty well, but I hear Sunday will be 60 mph winds and lashing rain. We've had such incredible wind this year, like I've never seen before.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

kicking it to the curb

Actually, I find the saying, "kicking someone to the curb" fascinating. I've never literally kicked anyone, period, but kicking him to the curb, yeah, in my mind I find that acceptable. The guy who I met about a month ago keeps saying he wants to meet up, yet never calls because the dating service we both belonged to (my membership was up a month ago) keeps hounding him with dates. Poor honey. So in my mind I've decided I'm kicking him to the curb. Cool. It's done. All that entails is not responding to his emails in which he tells me he's going to contact me, but never acts on it.

Still working on book trailer, very happy with it. Have to add audio clips.

Had friends over for dinner tonight. I love cooking for special occasions. Great fun. Meetings tomorrow, meals on wheels, last day of hunting season, as my youngest reminds me. He's still looking for that elusive trophy. It's midnight and I'm still on this darned laptop. :-)

Monday, December 17, 2007

book trailer as a creative process

I knew this would be time consuming, but what fun there is in the book trailer creation process. Of course, it can be frustrating too when you're learning a new program, but over the last several days I've really become comfortable with the Windows Movie Maker, and my youngest helped me out with some of the finer points, since he's familiar with the program in his cinematography class.

I scouted 3 days for free royalty free pictures, plus utilized some of my own photos and I'm really happy with the nearly finished results. It is a little longer than some trailers, 2.4 minutes, but I am doing more editing. Yesterday I added text to the movie, and my next step will be adding royalty free sound/sound effects.

The trailer itself is pretty much the way I want it, so when complete and I'm fully happy with it, I will be posting it probably after the holidays.

I love these creative processes, the only thing is the day flies and I look at the clock to suddenly realize it's 2 a.m.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Pushing more snow

I have another 8 inches or so of snow in my driveway. I got my youngest up at 7:30, he was working today, then my middle one got up at 9 to go to work, (he came in at 4 a.m., don't feel a bit sorry for him, only a few hours sleep), then I confess I went back to bed until 10:30. I planned to go to the gym since I missed the last two days, but when I got up, my middle one, who opens the gym in town, was home. The roads weren't plowed, nowhere to park, so he headed home. I went out and pushed some snow around, I do my driveway and several neighbors, so now it's 1 p.m. and I sit at my laptop in a nice warm cozy house and I'm working on my laptop, watching the blustery snow swirl and dip through the air outside. Life is good. :-)

My good friend Gen went or is on her way to the Bahamas for 3 weeks for xmas. Warm balmy air, clear ocean, cabana boys, hmmmm

Holiday season in full swing

I love the holidays, nowadays. For the last several years I hated the holidays. Families, parties, getting together. Great when the family is all in one place. The kids are home and we're all just hanging out and having time together. Gradually, it has returned to this wonderful family time. This is the first holiday that I don't feel that deep down angst, that missing part of myself with my husband gone. This will be the 4th holiday without him. And I feel okay. I feel really good. I was invited by friends to a dinner at a nice restaurant tonight. There was about 16 of us. Had a really nice time, despite the service being very, very sloooooooow. Took 3 hours to get dinner and then finally the bill. They were not even busy in the restaurant. Had a good time, though, and my youngest went with me, though he didn't sit with me. At 10, I went fifteen miles to a birthday party I'd been invited too also. It was rather interesting. My friend turned 60 and her theme was 60's style hippie party since she was a flower child back then. Woodstock, NY is the perfect place to hold such a gathering, and she lives in Woodstock. And yes, there were flower children everywhere. I actually ran into a guy, Al, who I took dance lessons with in October. So we chatted for a few minutes. I stayed an hour because of the drive back, and it was beginning to snow down there and by the time I arrived home, the snow was sticking to the road. We're expecting a northeaster...so here it is 12:30 and I'm checking email. Feeling very good about my life and all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for. I have plenty too. I feel very fortunate. Now I'm just waiting eagerly for the next part of my life to move a bit faster and pick up momentum. I know it's coming.

I also received an email out of the blue from a man I went out with two times, over two years ago. I didn't hear anything from him and then suddenly 8 months after we stopped dating, he called me Christmas Eve. He wanted to know if I'd like to go out with him. Told him he was a nice fellow, but no thank you. So fast forward a year later, he emails me out of the blue and wished me merry christmas. That was nice, but unusual, considering....

Friday, December 14, 2007

book trailers

I've been doing research on the book trailer concept. I am thinking about creating my own book trailer, but I have also checked out places that produce them commercially. It will be time consuming, but it's a form of art, which is always something I enjoy. So I'm going to play with Windows Movie Maker and see what develops. I really do think it is a good promotional tool for my campaign, especially once it's posted on all the different sites such as utube, google, etc. I've compiled a list of the top sites for posting.

I purchased a book based on a book trailer I just watched.

xmas shopping and more snow on the way....

Well, I think it's pretty well completed, the Christmas shopping. Three boys whom I have no clue what to buy for Christmas. As usual, I've muddled through it. Hopefully, they'll enjoy some of what I bought. Went with a friend and it was better than going alone, then we had lunch and good funny conversation throughout. Always a plus. I have to run out and plow one driveway before the next storm hits and I hear it is a big one. Tomorrow, I've got dinner plans and after that a birthday bash to attend in Woodstock, but if the weather holds true, I have a feeling all plans are off. We're supposed to get a ton of snow, or at least several feet.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Forget about ice, 10" of snow

And the snow is still coming in, slower, but still falling. I've been cleaning the driveway on and off all afternoon, truck and plow, luckily it's fluffly so not hard to push. However, the roads on the way to town were quite slippery this morning. Hopefully, weather will be better tomorrow, and I have the last of xmas shopping to do. Ugh. Working on getting my internetdatingguide.org website back online, switched servers, etc., so it's been down for a bit. Busy, busy.

I wanted so much to see the meteor shower tonight, but it's so overcast and with snow, no visibility. This is the second meteor shower in months that I've missed. First one was overcast also. Maybe tomorrow will be better for clear skies, it ends sometime tomorrow night.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

2 green horses


radio interview

I delivered meals on wheels today and then I had the radio interview with Allan Hunkin of success-talk.com. He called promptly at noon and we started. He'd obviously read the material I sent him about A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss. He asked some very in depth questions and kept things flowing nicely. I was nervous at first but I feel it was a very good experience. Allan said he would have the interview to me in its finished format by next week. I will be posting links when it is available. It will also be available as an RSS feed, I believe, and podcast. I am really feeling of late I am in "the zone" and I don't mean that in the least arrogant way. After struggling with so many thing for so long, emotionally, mentally and even physically, I feel that things seems to be going along nicely now. I painted another picture last night and I'm loving this spurt of creativity. I will be uploading it later when I have scanned it. I'm running out of wall space. I've decided to paint my bed room walls a faint rose, it's time for a change, but I don't want it to look pink. lol. Also going to paint the kitchen, a pale green. I'm just needing that little extra sunshine this dreary weather day. :-) I'm off to a town meeting today.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

radio podcast and networking

I've been offered an opportunity to do a radio interview on my upcoming book. I am very excited about this -- expected completion date for the interview is before Christmas. More details to be posted here and on my website, http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com/ when things are firmed up. The company takes care of all the details and I've listened to their other broadcasts (they've done over 600) and they do a fantastic job, so I'm going to look at this wonderful opportunity as an early Christmas gift and as a way to ramp up the marketing and publicity.

Facebook seems to be working out really well regarding networking -- my entire reason for joining the site. I've met all kinds of people that I would never have met otherwise. Not only writers like myself, but librarians, reviewers, editors, publishers, producers, artists, people who have also been in the business a long time. Many are based in the US, others are across the world. There's something about facebook that seems to make people more approachable...

Monday, December 10, 2007

Ice and ice and page proofs

It rained ice all night, is that possible or is that an oxymoron, raining ice? Sounds like a good book title. I'm very excited, I received my book proofs today for A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss and there are only very minor changes to be made. Publication is tentatively set for June 2008. I am very happy with not only the cover but also the proof preparation. It pays to hire quality. I'm using selfpublishing.com and their RJ Communications and they're a great source of information and help. My facebook community is really swinging, and no one is more surprised than me. I've met some wonderful people and have almost 200 books/writing/art related friends thus far. I've been invited to a wonderful seminar in Boston in January and also a holiday party in Toronto. I would love to go to Toronto, but.....we'll see. It would be such fun. I love the woods but come on, a gal needs a little change of scenery once in a while. I missed the gym today, so off to get in some elliptical now.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Hiking

Went for an hour and a half hike in the woods with my youngest and a friend, rough terrain, but it felt great. I should do this more often. Now it's been sleeting and currently pouring rain. The roads will no doubt be frozen tonight.

Saturday night at the movies and Facebook

I've been waiting to see The Golden Compass. A friend and I went last night and the movie was fabulous, right up to the last two minutes. I admit I do not like movies that leave you with a lot of questions, and that's what happened in the obvious attempt to set the movie up for the sequel. I understand it's a series of books the movie is based on, but they could have smoothed the ending out a little so you didn't feel like you'd been left hanging.

I'm now on facebook.com. I have discovered its potential as a marketing tool, in connecting with others in the writing industry. Once I started navigating through their site and saw all the available information via other companies and individuals, I got kind of hooked. My acccount is onwingspress and you have to be a member or be signed in to view anyone's info.

I found this out while reading selfpublishing.com's info in their recent newsletter about facebook's potential for networking, etc. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=831146796 this link will take you to my profile but again, you have to be logged into facebook.

My next challenge is setting up a similiar site on myspace.com. :-) Off to the gym right now.

Friday, December 7, 2007

new story idea

I am so excited because I am mulling over a really cool idea for a new story. Kind of a paranormal chick lit. Cripes, it even scares me. I actually first had this idea for a story based on a dream I had last summer. I woke up after this crazy dream with the strong conviction I needed to write this story. It's strange but sometimes I just get to the point I'm almost afraid to start. But I will. And oh yes, I always listen to my dreams.

when it rains it pours

I'm glad in a way this week is over. It certainly had its good and bad points. I have three boys, two driving, and this week was car repair, new tires, in the shop week. Ugh. Then the brand new furnace loaded up and filled itself totally with black, black soot. They had to remove it and take it to the shop to fix the blasted thing. It's only two months old. As a single woman, just one more challenge in my daily living. I admit to being stressed out but then I got thinking of my friend Marzena who has little or nothing to be cheery about in her life right now, and I realized I was being ridiculous by letting this stuff get me down. Oh, and the other thing yesterday, on top of the car, furnace, etc., my youngest dropped the digital camcorder he'd been using for his cinematography class, and broke the view finder. The camcorder is owned by the school. Zeesh. But all is well, things worked out for the best and somehow we'll figure it out.

The upside to all the work I accomplished in the last two days is, drumroll....I finished the two launch websites for my book, "A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss. They are not fantastic, but I like them and now I have a half a presence on the web. http://www.onwingspress.com and also http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com They are of course not totally complete, but I am doing research into have a book trailer made so I can upload it UTube, etc., when the time is right.

My brain is frying a bit from all the research I've been doing this week regarding marketing, promotion, etc. My book is with the design company, they are formatting it for the printer, then I have to decide how many copies. After the first of the year I'll obtain a 2008 copyright...right now I have information I downloaded from selfpublishing.com's website regarding the above. What a wonderful place for info on self publishing. I have to prepare galleys for the reviewers I wish to submit, and hope to get decent reviews of my book. I just know it will end up where it is supposed to be.

Monday, December 3, 2007

The gym and staying in shape




I usually hit the gym every day, this time of year. It gets the heart pumping while the wind howls outside and the temperatures drop. School was on a two hour delay this morning because of the ice and sleet that pelted the house all night. The driveway was a sheet of ice and my fifteen year old slid all the way down to the road where the bus waited. Of course it would have been easier if he had walked down the grass, but you know how boys are...




Being at the gym also gives me time to think and go over my action plan for the day, whether it's writing or otherwise. I had such an urge to paint tonight and I completed two different type pictures in watercolors. One is an angel in a fantasy setting of jewel tones, pinks and blues and yellows. I just love it... The second one is a woman with a serene face, exuding love in the form of two doves. Due to their large size I have included only a partial scan of both.




I was driving home tonight from picking up my son and an owl flew right across the car window. It was amazing and beautiful. I've had this happen a few times before, and to say it's startling at best is an understatement. But I love seeing birds of prey, they represent to me a form of good luck. Owls, red-tailed hawks, peregrine falcons, eagles....I just love seeing them.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

freezing temperatures and in the woods

Yes, freezing yesterday and again today. Yesterday was the worst because it was about ten degrees with a wind chill of minus ten or so. What's a few degrees more or less when outside? Yesterday our little bulldozer was delivered, it's been in the shop being worked on all summer. I love playing with it, even though it's not a toy, and of course my fifteen year old couldn't wait to get his hands on it, now that it's all fixed up and running wonderfully. So after playing with it in the bitter cold we finally put it in the barn, then delivered two face cord of firewood. My son's little business is selling firewood, one of his businesses, and since he can't yet drive, Mom gets to do that chore. I stopped selling firewood when I was four months pregnant with him, since I was getting pains and I'm thinking, what am I, a moron to be doing this when I'm pregnant! So here I am fifteen years and some months later doing the same thing at now, 50 years of age. So I'm thinking, what am I, a moron? Lol. My son just loves all this outside work stuff and I get roped along for the ride. So we delivered the wood yesterday, which is two loads, then went into the woods for an hour and half so he could cut up some fallen trees on our property. Again, it's somewehere you go with the truck, too far to cart the chainsaw et al by hand. He was going to go on his four wheeler, but he would have to go up, over and down a small mountain to get there since he can't go on the road with the four wheeler. I don't want him going in the woods alone with a chain saw, especially during hunting season, so Mom got to drive again. Actually, I haven't done this in a long time but I enjoyed it. I certainly got a work out and moved enough that I wasn't cold in the frigid weather.

Today we went back into the woods and picked up and loaded into the truck what he cut yesterday. We had a full pickup load, probably a full cord, so that will keep the little 5foot 9 inch bugger busy for awhile. I should sleep well tonight, fresh cold air and all that. I'm sure my body will be protesting tomorrow.

I went to town and picked up some drawing pads for watercolors. I've suddenly got the itch to do some painting. So that will be my project this week.

Dating: Hmm, the guy I went out with on Monday, and emailed a few times after that, casual emails, has not yet picked up the phone. I initiated the contact, so I figure the ball is in his court. I learned the hard way, I chases after no man. Let him show some interest.