Friday, March 14, 2008
Time Does Heal
I recall a many moments after I lost my husband, thinking, What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I recall that bone deep numbness, that total disinterest in life. I didn't care if I ate, didn't care that it was a beautiful sunny day outside, all I could think about was my lack of interest in life and my missing the life I'd had, my husband and our three boys. Gradually, with time, you do begin to feel again, you begin to experience joy and life. I knew I had to keep it together, if only for my boys. So be assured, in your own way and your own time, you will heal and love life again. It isn't a steady one, two three, but in small steps some days and bigger strides other days. Some days you go backward, but you just keep trying to move forward. I talked with my boys about their father, and we would laugh and reminisce about silly things that had happened in the past. That in itself became a healing process, not being afraid to talk and remember. It will all come in time.
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8 comments:
That's where I am at now Elaine. Really can't see very far into the future. Sometimes I don't really seem to care much either. Life goes on but can't get back the old groove. I still miss Mariel so much that I just take comfort in your words that... "it will all come in time".
Thanks again for showing that there is a better road ahead.
Dear Elaine,
I came across your blog during an aimless blog hopping evening and I am much intrigued. I am 36 and lost my husband over 4 years ago from cancer. We fought it for 4 years, with two bone marrow transplants, but he passed away from complications of the transplant, though the cancer was in remission. Ironic. he was 33. We have 2 children, then aged 6 and 3 when he passed away. I have another theory about time and healing....at times, i feel its more of an adaptation to the situation that makes things better. The loss i feel for him is just as painful now as it was that morning he passed away.
Hi Petite: I am so very sorry for your loss, and your children's loss. I agree with you. We all adapt, and that is its own form of "healing". There are days that I can still cry over something that pops up in memory, and yet I consider myself well on the road to healing. Sometimes the word healing in a just a word, not a state of being. I feel we all do the best we can with what we have, based on support and life tools. Thank you so much for stopping by. elaine
HI Bong: Thank you for stopping back. Life as we know it never goes back to what it was. As hard as it has been, though, I have found that joy in my life again. I have taken paths not expected, traveling into areas I would never have forseen. I also expect to find love again, at some point in my life. But it is something I have learned not to rush, to let happen in the right time and right way. I think too much of myself and my life to let my actions be anything other than what feels right. Anyone who has lost a loved one, knows how precious life is.
Sharing your journey is such a gift to the world. Thank you!
Hi Keith: We're all doing the best we can to share, aren't we -- yourself included. Elaine
Dear Elaine, I lost my husband in a car accident 5 years ago. The journey has been an adventure to be sure. I have just found your blog and will start to read it. Shortly after my husband died I began a blog and since then it has evolved quite a bit. I started on the blog.com and eventually created my own blog here:
http://web.mac.com/s_lh.mac.com/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html
please feel free to read for I believe it is always comforting to find a soul who is walking the same path as I am, we just happen to be looking at the scenery a little differently and in that difference we find our commonality. Cheers and all the best Elaine, I look forward to reading your notes. Sandy
Dear Sandy: I'm sorry we share such a loss, but thank you for stopping in and commenting. I will definitely check out your blog. Elaine
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