Book Review: Surviving Ben's Suicide by C.Comfort Shields

Recently, I was asked to review a book entitled "Surviving Ben's Suicide, A Woman's Journey of Self-Discovery" by C. Comfort Shields. My review follows:

"Surviving loss. Comfort Shields' story about surviving and living again after the suicide of her boyfriend is deeply personal and poignantly honest. Suicide is devastating, leaving loved ones bereft and with unanswered questions. Human life is frail, but as Comfort comes to understand, we are only responsible for our own actions and decisions. As much as we love another, we can only do so much to help them on their life journey, and the final decisions are up to each individual. Her story will reach out and touch many suffering along the same path."

Comfort's writing draws you into the story of her life as a young woman. And her love for Ben, a troubled young man. I am posting an excerpt with permission.


"...And then it hit me that I had been feeling lousy at work because I thought that I deserved it. I thought so because I believed that I was responsible for Ben’s death. But I wasn’t responsible for the choices that Ben made...
This revelation freed something inside of me, and I was able to go to work the following Monday and see myself through the eyes of the people around me. I knew I had made a mistake or two that week and that I would make another the next. I also knew, though, that most of the work I did was pretty good. And I knew that sometimes my boss might feel a little annoyed with me but wouldn’t have asked me to stay in my job if she had not wanted me there. Not only did I like and respect my boss, but she had become my good friend—even though I had not allowed myself to believe that she was my friend. . . .
I began to think about how Ben came to me—how he may have tried Sarah Lawrence as a last resort and how others had turned away from him. I started to feel proud that I had been there to reach out to him. And then I saw clearly that I had taken on a huge responsibility and that I had expected to win. The stakes were high. Life and death. Although Ben had not survived, at least I could say that I tried."